


Sleepless Again

by Butterballs



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sibling Incest, Voyeurism (sort of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-22 21:07:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3743572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterballs/pseuds/Butterballs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili's thoughts as he  listens to Kili touch himself at night. Short and porny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sleepless Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Taurnil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taurnil/gifts).



> I haven't written anything in this fandom for 9 billion years and wrote this at work as a way to ease myself back in, so please be gentle (yes there is no plot this is just porn).  
> For Taurnil who is an all-round sweetheart and whose support I am endlessly appreciative of. ♥
> 
> Named after the song 'Sleepless Again' by In Flames because I couldn't think of anything else.

Whenever Kili bids his brother pleasant dreams and blows out the candle on the table separating their beds, Fili bids him a good night in return, and waits. 

Twenty minutes after the candle stops smoking, the night quietens, the house is a comfortable cocoon of silence, and Kili's blankets begin to move. It's less a noise and more a displacement of the air, so slight that most would miss it, and Fili is only aware because he's tight with expectation. He closes his eyes, keeps his breath as deep and sleep-even as he can, tenses his muscles and knows he should fight it but months of routine have conditioned his body to respond. He's getting hard before he can steady his exhalation, involuntary but entirely welcome so long as he can keep quiet. And Fili is excellent at keeping quiet. 

He slides a hand into his underclothes and strokes himself slowly. He'd savour it if he could, string it out all night, tease himself to the edge and back again, but it's always Kili who sets the pace, and tonight Kili's goal is efficiency. (One night Kili made himself for last for over an hour before coming, making Fili tingle with pride and envy. Fili lacked the same control and climaxed three times that night.)

Kili’s breathing hardly alters and his hand is quiet, smooth, through months – maybe longer – of practice. Fili can hear the blankets shift once, can _just_ hear Kili’s breathing if he concentrates on nothing else, can imagine how his beloved little brother is touching himself thinking of (in Fili’s fantasies, at least) his elder just six feet away, completely unaware that Fili is imagining that his rough touch on his own dick is Kili’s hand (or mouth…or ass).

(Fili does not believe that Kili has no idea what goes on across the room. He didn’t help raise his little brother to be an inobservant fool. He’s just so hopeful and so afraid to believe that what he wants is true.)

Fili squeezes himself, biting his tongue against a groan. He should be more controlled by now but there’s something about his _brother_ (right now the very word itself sends a thrill through him) that makes him lose it, sometimes makes him angry or frustrated and right now is making his heartbeat thrum in his dick so loud he’s sure Kili will notice. He tickles his balls with sword-roughened fingers,, fondles the shaft rougher than strictly necessary, swipes away the liquid gathering on the head and uses it to ease the way for his hand. It’s dry but muffled, maybe Kili can hear and maybe he can’t, but by this point Fili is usually too far gone to care. Let him notice. Let’s see if he ever does anything about it.

Fili isn't picturing Kili's cock, never does because he already knows what it looks like through years of sibling immodesty - instead he's imagining Kili's face as he's being touched, his eyes wide and unfocused as he's ordered to keep them open, his mouth pink and wet and slack under Fili's kisses. He thinks Kili would be quiet at first, a force of habit, maybe until Fili demanded he stop holding back - and Kili would oblige, he's always so dutiful about following his big brother's orders. He hopes Kili would pant his name, scream it as he came, uncaring who heard and who knew they were brothers.

His stubbly excuse for a beard would scratch but Fili would love it, would rub his own fuller beard against Kili just to be annoying, would bury it between Kili’s ass cheeks, lick and listen to him shriek. It’s stupid, but he hasn’t yet worked up the courage to picture them making love (to picture them _fucking _) – Fili has such high hopes that it might actually happen that he doesn’t want to be disappointed.__

__Fili has long learned to ignore the part of his mind and the twinge in his stomach telling him how wrong it is to think of his brother this way. Like a bad habit, with time it became easier to justify and harder to stop, less a character defect and more a personality quirk. He might’ve apologised for it a year ago but not anymore._ _

__There’s a soft click from across the room. Kili is close; swallowing his cries down, the air thick with arousal and expectation. (Honestly, the room stinks of sex every time; how could he _not_ expect Fili to notice?) Another rustle – the blankets are gone now – and then there’s nothing but the crickets outside. Fili knows, though. Kili’s apparently silent orgasm might as well be a scream. It’s at this point that Fili has to stuff his pillow into his mouth as he comes, shaking and mouthing at the fabric, trying and failing every time to catch his semen in a neatly cupped fist. _ _

__Kili falls asleep (truly) within minutes but Fili isn’t so lucky. He frowns at the ceiling. It's always too dark and oppressively silent and there's too much space between them to reach out and touch like he so desperately wants to. Fili doesn't _want_ a quick jerk in their mother's house under the suffocating cover of night. He wants light and visibility and warm skin, Kili tangling their legs together with his mouth on Fili's neck and a hand on his cock. He wants to see Kili as he comes apart and hear all the filthy things he's always imagined his little brother would say to a lover, wants to hear him cry for more as he’s broken open, as he’s breaking Fili open in turn. He wants to see and feel and taste, to conquer and be taken. He wants to have the chance to _try_ , and if Kili refuses him - well, he’d rather that than never knowing at all._ _

__Right now the six feet between their beds feels like half the world but Thorin's taking them both on his mission to retake Erebor soon. Then maybe Fili will finally have his chance to try._ _


	2. In Plain View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili's POV as he masturbates to thoughts of Fili, and then...well, you'll see. ;) As before, short and porny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have like 6 other fics that I should be working on but this happened instead.
> 
> Chapter title is after another In Flames song, 'In Plain View'. When I can't think of a good title I open iTunes and see if anything suits. Does anyone else do this?

Kili prefers to think of himself in terms of what he is _not_ compared to his brother.

He isn’t as skilled a fighter as Fili, owing to Fili’s few extra years of experience over his own. He isn’t as tall, although not by much. He isn’t as thoughtful – their mother often uses the word ‘passionate’ when really he knows she means ‘impulsive’. He isn’t the first in line to the throne. His beard isn’t as impressive – barely exists, if he is honest with himself. He isn’t as admired. And, if he is _really_ brutally frank with himself, he isn’t as brave as Fili (despite the aforementioned impulsiveness). He doesn’t necessarily consider any of these characteristics to be flaws – but having looked up to his big brother all his life, having grown up under Fili’s influence, he can’t help but to notice the differences.

Which is why he is never going to be the one to come out and admit that his feelings for Fili are decidedly not brotherly. He isn’t going to be the one to cross that line and either take their relationship to the next level or to shatter it forever. He follows Fili, submits to him, agrees with his ideas.

Which is why, one night, he decides to pleasure himself in their shared bedroom, lying a few short feet away from the object of his lust, just to see what will happen. He mostly expects Fili to laugh at him and tell him to stop; _hopes_ that Fili will take it as a sign to replace Kili’s hand with his own, to kiss his mouth and neck and all over his body until Kili’s tongue is bloody from biting down on it to keep his screams in. It’s a gamble but he has to try.

What he doesn’t expect is for _nothing_ to happen. Fili has to know what’s going on, it’s dark but the moon illuminates the room enough to outline his silhouette, and Fili is an extremely light sleeper. It doesn’t matter that Kili is completely silent. Fili has spent too long training with Thorin, observing to the point of obsession, not to notice the movement across the room. (And there is, of course, the matter of that unmistakable smell of sex.)

Fili doesn’t laugh or throw his brother from the room in revulsion, though, so Kili cautiously allows himself to hope…and to continue, to see what will happen. It becomes a ritual for him. He says goodnight, waits a short period to allow Fili to fall asleep (if that’s what he’s truly doing), and then closes his eyes. Kili takes his cock in hand and pictures Fili above him. Next to him. Behind him, below him, _inside_ him, surrounding him (though he can scarcely imagine that Fili will let Kili fuck him, being the elder and stronger and more beautiful). Being thrown over the side of the bed because Fili can’t wait another second to get his hands on Kili, or being taken so slowly that Kili’s sobbing with the need for release.

Every night becomes more of an intriguing challenge for him. Kili is completely baffled by Fili’s inaction – he knows, he _has_ to know, and Kili isn’t going to insult his intelligence by assuming otherwise – so he becomes more and more determined to provoke Fili, for better or worse. The volume of his efforts remains the same but the vigor increases. He deliberately moves his blankets with a little more force than necessary and swallows more audibly. His breath catches in his throat as he holds back cries of Fili’s name.

The night that Kili realises that Fili is _also_ pleasuring himself, he comes in less than a minute and stays awake most of the night, high on optimism and anticipation. He still doesn’t understand why Fili, with all his bravery, won’t just reach over and grab him but he is nevertheless grateful for the progress. Fili is brave, certainly, but battle seems to be one thing and taking your brother into your bed quite another. 

Kili has never really tried to tell Fili what to do or push him into anything but here, his hand feels forced (so to speak). He tries harder. One night, he teases himself for more than an hour, approaching the edge of orgasm over and over again and yanking himself back. Kili correctly assumes that Fili is keeping pace and that basic sibling competition is the only thing keeping him from losing it first. He wants to make Fili suffer in the best way possible. Other nights it’s a race to the finish line and they’re both asleep within minutes. 

He’d kill to know what Fili’s face looks like as his hand moves, whether his eyes are open or shut, if he gnaws on the inside of his mouth the way Kili does or has more control over his body and barely moves at all. And the sounds he’d make – Kili doesn’t think they’d be like his, hitched whines and muted moans. No, he thinks Fili would be more of a screamer with his lovers, that he’d make sure _everyone_ knew what he was up to.

Maybe that’s why he hasn’t attempted anything with Kili so far. Maybe he’s afraid that he won’t be able to control himself. The possibility makes Kili shiver pleasantly.

Tonight Kili settles into bed, his body tight with purpose. He sighs loudly, an extended sigh to signify his feigned sleep, and begins. His left hand is usually fairly idle, perhaps pinching his nipples occasionally or barely grazing the surface of his skin to mimic the touch of another, but tonight he decides to be a little more adventurous. He sucks two fingers into his mouth, coating them as wetly as he can manage, then reaches under himself and prods at his entrance. It’s uncomfortable and his right hand falters momentarily, but Kili pushes past the burn – there’s more pain than he expects – but then he’s _in_. He smiles in the dark.

He moves his fingers, trying to find that tucked-away place he’s sometimes heard mentioned over too many mugs of ale. It’s awkward, shallow, would be so much easier for Fili to find (and he probably would on the first try, the talented prick), but then he grazes it and almost chokes on his spit through a sudden inhalation. How has he not tried this sooner?

Tonight that’s how he comes, with a hand on his cock and two fingers in his ass and Fili’s name ghosting his lips. He nearly jumps out of his skin when he relaxes and realises that he wasn’t just crying out Fili’s name and imagining said cry disappearing down Fili’s throat, Fili is actually in bed with him, and contrary to all his fantasies Kili immediately burns with shame. They’re due to set off for the Shire tomorrow on Thorin’s quest for Erebor and eternal glory, finally alone albeit temporarily. His expectations for the adventure – that Fili might lose his patience at last and fuck Kili beside their campfire, or some such thing – are heart-achingly high, so Kili’s fear that he’s prematurely ruined that chance almost ruins him. He’s thankful that he isn’t crying, at least.

Fili either doesn’t notice Kili practically glowing with unanticipated humiliation or chooses not to comment on it, and immediately kisses him again, gentle and affectionate and perfect. ‘ _Kili_ ,’ he huffs as he breaks away, eyes sparkling in the darkness of the room. (Unbeknownst to Kili, Fili had lost his patience many days before and had declared to himself that he would make his move before departing for Hobbiton. Listening to Kili fuck himself had been the final straw.)

‘Kili,’ he says again, settling between Kili’s legs and completely dismissive of the seed sticky on Kili’s stomach. Their third kiss feels like Fili has been planning it for weeks with deep sweeps and lewd jabs of his tongue. Kili can only grab his brother’s shoulders and hold on still in disbelief at his good fortune.

He wishes he hadn’t come so quickly because it’s promising to be a long night.


End file.
